Well, I went back to work this past week....another obstacle overcome. I can tell you, I was more nervous to be there than I may have shown. Thank you to the coworkers who hugged me, said "I'm sorry", or simply just gave me space. Now, I'm on vacation this coming week. Leyton and I will bake cookies and make candy and spend precious time together. Poor Daddy has to work. But, he will be the recipient of lots of goodies from his girls.
I just wanted to take a moment to share some words that have given me comfort or some perspective on our loss. I know many people have not had this experience, but I feel like almost everyone has experienced a great heartache sometime in their life. So, maybe you can or can't find peace with these words, but honestly, they are good for my soul. I really enjoy reading and listening to music. I will play a song repeatedly if it's hitting close to home. After the loss of Lindsey, I dove into the Word. What a place of comfort and peace that I am so guilty of neglecting too often.
"If we want to grow in faith we must be open to listening to our own stories, perhaps familiar or forgotten, where we have not mined the rich deposit of God's presence. With better eyes and ears we will sense how God has worked to redeem even our most tragic experiences." - Dan Allender
"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." - C.S. Lewis
"Look at your problems in the light of God's power instead of looking at God in the shadow of your problems" (not sure who to give credit to for this quote. Just one I jotted down that I read somewhere or maybe just heard)
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" James 4:8
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" Matthew 5:4
"Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.
" The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"The Weaving"
My life is but a weaving, between my God and me
I do not chose the colors, He worketh steadily
Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside
Not til the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand
As threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
- anonymous
"With Hope" - Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take the pain away
The pain of losing you, but...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father smile and say well done
And I, imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope
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